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Nov. 29th, 2012


I went nuts over the weekend in term of purging and used the excuse of the minimalism lifestyle to justify it. There are three kind of minimalists; the religious nuts, upper-middle class folks who are able to spend massive moolah on quality furniture in their large square footage condos and those who are constantly discarding as way to reclaim a part of true self. I steer toward to the third type. Growing up, my parents taught me that buying things were ways of buying love. I adopted this logic for years even though I pretended I was this anti-consumerist type and attended protests, wrote 'zines on fucking with the authority and yet I still went home to a very nice house and had plenty of food and clothing. It wasn't enough for me as I continually spent money and therefore went into debt, became poor and unemployed. The stuff that I bought were just piece of trendy shit that had limited value. After a double loss coupled with several traumatic experiences as well as being unemployed, I slowly got rid of things to pay off my debt. The more I got rid of things, the more I was able to truly enjoy myself. Less stuff usually meant more time to write or making up stories and I sure have a lot of stories. Every year, I go through some frenzied urge to get rid of what ails me. Last year, it was journals, letters and certain photographs. Without a moment notice, I just trashed 15 years of sentimentality. There were no moments of regret because I still had the memory and although the memories were often muddled and unclear, it's better to have fucked up recollections rather than clear visions. To have vivid memories will fuck you up especially if you're a sentimental type.

Life became shitty once again recently when I'm being laid off and life bullshit...suddenly, I just decided to get rid of my yearbooks. Unlike the trashing of the journals, I did look through the yearbooks mainly to see if I was still that same girl I hated. It's that sentimentality in me. In a kind of way, I was comforted by my little notes and comments that at age 33, I am still that ball-busting sarcastic girl of 14. Unlike the girl of 14, my 33 years old self proclaimed on my youth and beauty. I was a good looking kid but I never felt that at 14. It made me realize that my self-pity and laziness in taking care of myself health-wise in the last few weeks -- being all sad because I was rejected by a dude (whatever) and that I may be losing my job (double whatever) is holding me back from my 14 years old beauty. I can't waste my 30's dwelling on some decade closure (which I'm never going to get), some dick bag who rejected my beautiful ass or worrying about employment. Fuck that. It's a good life, if you don't weaken.

This was my Angela Chase phase at 14

Excuse me but I'm going to vent

I'm being laid off (yet again) but this time, I have five months warning and the potential to move to the capital of Canada which is Ottawa to reapply for the same job I have now with the stipulation I learn written French and LSQ (French sign language).
The thing about being a minority is that you constantly have to work twice as hard to keep your job or to get certain respect from the majority. I have two Masters, I know three languages (two fluently, one passable) and then now I have to start picking up a fourth language to keep my pay grade which isn't that much anyway. The sad reality is this: If your first language has always been English, you've got it. Bonus if you're white, male and non-disabled. It doesn't matter how many languages you know as long as English is the first one.
It's not as easy for someone to say "Ah well, you can always find another job" but you know what? Fuck you, I can't. Statistics says the more disabled you are, the more broke you are and despite my accomplishments, it means jack shit when I'm competing with other hearing individuals who may not even be as qualified as I am. Invariably, the hearing peers get hired over me 100% of the time just so the company wouldn't have to deal with booking interpreters or learning about accommodations.
The moment I found out about the lay-off, I immediately thought about the economy and the asshole Stephen Harper and how fucked up and two-faced the Liberal party really was. Working in the non-profit sector is always a shady business because no matter what political party you support, either way you get fucked three way because people who pretend they don't use our service, end up using our service and then whine that they're not getting sufficient service.
The whole purpose of the non-profit sector is to provide a sense of comfort and security to those who may not have receive this from any government sponsored or money-making businesses. However, more and more non-profit agencies (including the one I work for) is becoming a fee services business and we're being forced to keep track of all the expenses and to possibly deny services to those who may not afford our services. This is problematic and goes against the basic decency and respect for people.
I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore.

the topic of assholes...familiar with you?


I've been dicked around quite a few time this year but the sad thing is, I've been dicked around just by one person and not multiple people as I would like.This past weekend was the first time I felt at peace about the dicking around part because I have come to the same conclusion I reached several times in the past the same way as the Holden Caulfield-type character in 'Igby Goes Down' has and that is:

Rhonda, my good (and probably the only person that have known me the longest) friend in Montreal and I both share the same apathy and dislike of individuals who put on pretensions that they're lovely and stable but in actuality, are balls of dicks. The thing is Rhonda and I have had experiences of dealing with dicks and assholes daily that it's not that we don't believe in being kind or considerate (because we are) but we don't put a paper bag over our heads and make believe that the world is full of absolute goodness. I learned from a very young age that people were assholes. Even when I had my identity crisis at age 25, people were still assholes but they were hiding it well. Today, at age 33....shit, I'm still meeting assholes. The funny thing about assholes is that they're so surprised that I'm not an asshole after all. Woody Allen said life is divided between the horrible and the miserable and that the horrible were people like me...Deaf folks or people who are disabled (and yet I don't feel so horrible about being Deaf -- I actually feel proud) and the miserable are assholes. Just be thankful you're miserable because you couldn't fucking handle being horrible.

meme time!


Was linked to this:

My answers are as follow:

1. Who is your favorite movie witch?

The ladies in ‘Witches of Eastwick’ mainly because they’re funny feminists who are altogether awesome.  

2. What is the first movie you can remember being scared by?

I was 6 years old and my dad took me to the theatre to watch Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I was terrified by the bald-headed villain (who kinda looks like a punker) who sacrificed his own people. Not only that, there were certain scenes that were cringe-worthy including bugs in the wall, monkey’s brain for dinner – it was just GROSS for a six years old.

Tell me that this is not gross

3. Name a classic horror film that would be substantially improved by better special effects.

Any films that did not have the support from Tom Savini or Rick Baker (of An American Werewolf in London and Michael Jackson’s Thriller fame). First come to mind is The People under the Stairs and Killer Klowns from Outer Space (uh-oh – make up by a Westmore).More recently: Gingerdead Man with Gary Busey coming back to life as a gingerbread man (Imagine a gingerbread man looking like Gary Busey)

Does he look like Gary Busey?

4. Name your favorite Val Lewton film.

Cat People, duh.

5. What movie villain or monster has the most frightening "stare-into-the-camera" moment?

For me, it’s a mix between Michael Myers of Halloween fame, Norman Bates of Psycho, Stephen King’s Carrie and Mrs. Danvers of Rebecca

She's kind of a bitch


Halloween 4 with Danielle Harris

Ah shit!

6. What is the most irritating horror film cliche?

The crazy dude who warns everyone to not go to that creepy place. Why couldn’t the crazy dude dress up a little nicer so the future victims take him seriously? If you’re walking around drunk off your ass and carrying some body part that you found, this is not the impression you want to make to save people.

YOU'RE ALL DOOMED from Ralph in Friday the 13th (of course he gets killed)

7. Are there any movies you refuse to watch alone?

Torture films I’m not comfortable watching including High Tension, Martyrs, Inside. Miike’s films are also uncomfortable to watch alone.  

8. Picture an old childhood nightmare of yours. Now try to adapt it to film. Can it be done?

Toxic shock syndrome from prolonged usage of tampons (I was an 11 years old girl). My mom always told me to never use tampons because I might die from toxic shock syndrome so anytime I see a tampon, I recoil in horror. Imagine a horror film in which the villain shoves tampons in popular girls’ vagina and keep it there for days, keeping them alive and never replacing the tampons until they die of a horrific toxic shock syndrome. Hey, if there’s killer klowns from outer space, being killed indirectly by toxic shock syndrome is not that far off.

9. Who's your favorite "scream queen?"

Danielle Harris of the Halloween franchise and current scream queen of sequels of popular horror movies.

10. What is the most disappointing horror remake?

Rob Zombie’s version of Halloween. It wasn’t terrible but I didn’t like that there was a backstory on Michael Myers. It just made him look like a pitiful wrestler-size Kurt Cobain look-alike depressive son of a bitch. My view on Michael Myers was this tall, lanky motherfucker who may not be as big as Jason of Friday the 13th fame but can stab a person 50 times within seconds.

11. We've all seen our share of vampires, zombies, and werewolves on film, but are there any mythical creatures or monsters out there that you think deserve more movies (i.e. golems, changelings, the Minotaur, etc.)?

A pissed off St. Sebastian who kills his torturers with the very same spears/arrows he’s impaled by (that’ll be awesome)

12. Along the lines of "Scary Mary Poppins," can you think of any non-horror flicks that could easily be adapted to fit the genre?

All about Eve –Anne Baxter becomes a murderer who kills her competitors with poison and Bette Davis is the actress who is investigating the murders. (kind of a giallo)

13. And now, just for fun, pick one movie monster or villain to be remade into a cuddly plush toy, just for you.

Baby Jane Hudson


Week three

The problem with watching movies is that sometime I overextend myself and take out too many on to watch in one weekend. Case in point: I rented six horror movies and picked up 12 general movies on hold from the library this past weekend. So far: I watched 8. Either I have a very active life or a very sad life.
On with it:
Maniac (1980) is a great portrayal of a serial killer and showcasing the excellent Tom Savini’s kill scenes (including his own acting head exploding from a shotgun blast).  Savini is well known in the horror movies business for the makeup, prosthetics, and special effects including Dawn of the Dead, The Burning, Creepshow, Friday the 13th franchise and many other films. If not for Savini, the film would be kind of cool ONLY because Joe Spinell was pretty an awesome actor. It’s not exactly a slasher nor a horror film but a true portrayal of a mama boy who can’t function through life without being inspired by Ed Gein to scalp and kill prostitutes in order to recreate his mom.  Let be real: if it was anyone else other than Joe Spinell or Tom Savini’s work, it would be a shitty film. A combination of these two is fantastic.
Someone’s watching me! (1978) was a tv movie written and directed by John Carpenter (He also released the more well-known and my personal favorite Halloween the same year) with Lauren Hutton.  Yes, the Lauren Hutton. Yeah, I don’t get it either.  The dialogue is obviously written by Carpenter and if it were utilized properly by good actors, it would’ve been an awesome movie. It’s basically a reverse version of Hitchcocks’ Rear Window in which the bad guy is stalking Lauren Hutton in her apartment. The only good thing about this movie is Adrienne Barbeau and her boobs.
Midnight Meat Train (2008) is surprisingly amazing even with mediocre actors including Bradley Cooper and Lesley Bibbs. If it wasn’t for Vinnie Jones playing the blockhead dude maiming people on the train, I wouldn’t be too confident in the success of this movie.  If one complains about the supernatural aspect for this movie, they haven’t heard that Clive Barker wrote the story and when it comes down to Barker’s work, there’s always some weird-fucked up supernatural shit. Even I was eye-rolling and cursing Barker’s name but that’s probably the point.
Teeth (2007) is a wonderful film about revenge against rapists (or would be rapists) with vagina teeth.   Teeth is kind of a later revenge interpretation on Ms. 45 or I spit on your grave) but that’s not just it.   I can see that men might hate this movie because any display of a dick being chewed out by a woman’s vagina is just “WRONG” and yet scenes of women being violated and raped in other horror films are sensational entertainment in the name of art.  (Inspired by reading neckbeards’ comments on IMDB message board)
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 1 and Part 2 (1984/1987) are so bad that it’s just a laughable classic 1980 ‘show the tits’ type of horror film.  I must admit that I did cringe at one death scene which probably sealed the deal for me (the mom’s death). It’s a dumb typical film about a boy who witnessed his parents’ deaths on the hand of some looney in a Santa suit and he then grows up and decided to act out his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder with more deaths.  Part 2 is not even a film but more of a repeat of part 1 except the second sequel is hilarious (especially the garbage scene). Check that shit out.
Vampires: Los Muertos(2002) was rented mostly because I wanted to see Bon Jovi’s brilliant acting as a vampire slayer in this supposedly Carpenter’s production. It’s a typical vampire film. No more need to be said about it except Bon Jovi actually live at the end of the movie.  I’d rather watch Corey Haim taking a bath in ‘The Lost Boys’ than to watch this shit again.


October 16-17

Les Diaboliques is the ultimate classic by Clouzot (The Wages of Fear and Le Corbeau are even more awesome). It is sort of unforgivable when one call themselves a horror film fan to not have seen Les Diaboliques, much like when one hasn't seen  Psycho or Jaws. It's one thing to quote Bruce Campbell in your daily (albeit miserable and lonely neckbeard) life but it's another when dumb white boys exclaim they don't watch 'foreign' films from the 1950s. Excuse me, Les Diaboliques was one of the first horror films (that Hitchcock didn't make) that show women as the ultimate(yet troubled) villains. Now, that's awesome.

Speaking of female villains, last night was the first viewing of Jean Rollin's Fascination. I turned and said to Nate "This is so a movie about lesbian vampires" and as a matter of fact, I was slightly correct. Fascination has all the elements of a fantastic BAD horror films from its terrible acting, nonsense storyline (thief running into an abandoned castle and came upon two beautiful young ladies in lingerie which he ultimately threatened with a tiny gun and his tiny dick). He just HAS to stay until dark to escape from the other thieves who also had access to get into the mansion (but somehow, stood their distance). A lovely lesbian scene occurred (which has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the movie -- much like other horror films including Slaughter High when a girl found a dead body and decided to go ahead and take a shower immediately after so we can see her tits).  Ultimately, the movie ended with a group of society ladies who really like human blood. Obviously an interpretation of the Elizabeth Bathory legend. For an arty (french)-horror film with a tiny bit of Hammer-influence, Fascination is the ultimate 'show the tits' type of horror film. Excellent for 13 years old boys.

There's a backlog here -- warning, warning!


My habit has always been typical when it comes down to watching horror films. I do watch movies I’ve seen before – mostly because it’s either a childhood favorite or an actually pretty awesome film worth watching again.

Movies that I’ve seen more than two times and no less than 100 times

Friday the 13th and the 3rd sequel were viewed very recently as it was on cable. The first time I watched Friday the 13th, I didn’t like it very much because I was a die-hard Carpenter fan and nothing was going to beat my obsession with Michael Myers. The whole Jason persona seems very white trashy to me – much like my disdain toward Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I didn’t find a guy with a deformed face scary – more pitiful and sad than anything. However, the thing that most people may not pay attention to when it comes down to watch Friday the 13th (especially the Drew Barrymore character Casey in ‘Scream’ when she answered the question incorrectly) is that the original killer wasn’t Jason at all or that Jason never wore the hockey mask UNTIIL the 3rd sequel. (The second sequel was some guy walking around with a sack over his head – if you don’t find that hilarious, then I feel bad for you). The name ‘Jason’ wasn’t uttered in the 3rd sequel but was just that ‘thing with the deformed face running around scaring young girls in the woods’. I started to like Friday the 13th and the sequels because unlike Halloween, it is meant to be taken as a hilarious jokes with nice asses and pretty boys. It’s alright.

April’s Fool Day is a childhood favorite. When I was a kid, my parents would let me stay up to watch Saturday Night Live but when they weren’t paying attention, I would switch the channel to watch whatever pornographic or horror films that was playing late at night. April’s Fool Day was literally one of the first movies I remembered so vividly and clearly that it scared the shit out of me although the movie itself wasn’t actually showing kill scenes – just bodies hanging out – including falling into a well and seeing two dismembered heads or a guy’s stabbed crotch. It sound terrifying but actually, it was pretty tame watching it this time around. My 8 years old self didn’t sleep for two weeks, though.

The Uninvited is not exactly a terrifying film and is quite tame but it’s a great paranormal film and it was interesting to watch after The Haunting which was on previously on TCM.  The Uninvited was ahead of its time with its own weird lesbian-vibe from a Mrs. Danvers-type woman, dysfunctional ghosts and a way too close brother/sister living in the mansion.

Scream and Scream Again is a terrible film but it had both Vincent Price and Christopher Lee so it was going to be an awesome HOT MESS. Hell, even Price said in interviews that he never understood what he was doing in the movie. Price who was the king of b-movies proclaiming that Scream and Scream Again was terrible, says a lot (I can say the Oblong Box is just as equally bad). I’m still unsure what happened except some guy who must be high on some drugs (maybe it’s a scene from Corman’s ‘The Trip’) killing go-go dancers in plastic white dresses and as it turns out, he was being controlled by mad scientists – for whatever reason, I don’t know.

Scarecrows are much like Aliens in term of bad-ass motherfuckers running around with guns and trying to get away from the creatures. In this one, the creatures happen to be scarecrows.  Enough said. It’s better than Night of the Lepus which saw Janet Leigh battling huge rabbits so it isn’t ALL THAT BAD.

Deep Red is so gory that Argento’s other works seem tame. Seriously: watch this shit and be prepared to cringe.

There are two versions of the Toolbox Murders and both are awesome. The latter being much cooler basically because it starred the actress Angela Bettis (May) but the former being a little scarier because of the tools used to torture/kill the residents of an apartment building.

Spider Baby should be watched only to see Lou Chaney Jr proclaiming that it was going to be a full moon tonight.

Tales from the Crypt: season 6 – not a movie per se but can be considered part of the horror movies month with its excellent and yet idiotic episodes including ‘You, Murderer’ which had a killer getting plastic surgery so he can look like Humphrey Bogart. Yeah…

Candyman is a great film where the female protagonist does absolutely nothing. It’s not like Laurie Strode in Halloween, Ripley in the Aliens franchise or even Sarah Connor in the Terminator franchise. She does absolutely nothing except being her pretty self screaming and crying while Candyman comes for her.  I love it, though because Virginia Madsen plays an emotionally stunted character well.

Movies I watched for the first time

The Loved Ones is basically a cult favorite that was made in 2010 but released early this year. It’s pretty much Jeffrey Dahmer-type of character meet Carrie except in this one, there is a background story for the boy who was forced to go to the prom with the psychotic mini-Dahmer girl. Much like the characters in Halloween or even The Burning, you sympathize with the characters. You want them to live and most horror films always have the girl who got away. In The Loved Ones, it was a self-harming teenage boy who kicked ass despite the fact his feet were nailed to the floor. It’s gory, it’s disgusting and it’s awesome.

The Sentinel is a much older film with a stellar cast although it reminds me quite a bit of the later horror film House of the Devil which is pretty much a movie where the character did everything she was not supposed to do. If rent is way cheap, don’t move in. If things are moving around or there’s some weird sounds and people who seem to live there (but actually don’t), get OUT!

Hatchet is gory, campy and the bad guy is similar to Jason from Friday the 13th except he’s way gross. Having seen the sequel with Danielle Harris (the best current Scream Queen thus far), I didn’t really want to see the original as it didn’t have Danielle Harris so I’m like whatever – but much like its sequel, it’s just as equally awesome.

New Year’s Evil is something that I sorta saw before but don’t quite remember. It’s one of those horror films that is just recycled crap released in the early ‘80’s after the popularity of Halloween and Friday the 13th. Someone gets killed in every time zone at midnight – and like, okay..I get it. New Year Eve..whoo hooo but it isn’t good at all – although way better than any horror films with Gary Busey.

The House that dripped blood is not closed captioned at all so my review is pretty much just on the surface of what I see –which was actually really confusing for me. So many different characters and having no fucking idea who they were… it’s not like Friday the 13th or Halloween where some guy is stalking a bunch of teenagers – this one is a little more complex and have some story line that may be better understood if it was subtitled.  Not really a review per se, but hey, I tried.

Bava’s A Bay of Blood is another one of those badly dubbed movies but I sort of got the gist of it. It’s not a serial killer or a pissed off mom killing specific type of people. Everyone DIES. The ending was weird but then again, this is Bava we’re talking about.

Your vice is a locked one (and only I have the key), I found on youtube on my lunch hour. I was happy to have found a giallo that was fully subtitled and full of beautiful women (getting slaughtered, that is). The killer’s plan is foiled by a fucking cat named Satan! It’s awesome.

someone got a thing for Reagan

I watch a lot of bad movies -- sometime even twice or even 10 times. For instance, I barely liked Scream but I watch it 10 times a year. Legally Blonde? Whenever it's on tv. Roadhouse? all the time. I'm also very frugal so I try to check the library to see if they have certain literature or films before I look for it in the video store  (The library never has Columbo and yet they do have copies of Roadhouse 2. Yes, there is a sequel). I picked up The Tripper at the video store having believed that I hadn't seen it.
When I saw Paul Reubens, I knew instantly I had seen it before but it wasn't that terrible because it's Paul Reubens. The premise is really simple: a boy was traumatized (same old story), he grew up to take revenge onto any hippies who dare to come on his daddy's land. He wore Ronald Reagan mask and liked to quote the man as he's maiming and slicing some guy's head off. A great attempt in being a dark comedy horror. It isn't bad but not worth the $3.75 I paid to see it. But if you're into gore and quotable lines, this is it.

 I will not be writing about movies in the next few days as I'm taking a week off from work to watch more shitty horror films, eat french toasts, and cry in the bathtub over my nonexistent life. See you soon and expect a shitload of reviews when I get back.


Last night was an appropriate time to watch 'Ginger Snaps' -- much for the reason that I was sitting on the couch (I walk around pantless or in a dress in the apartment) and I noticed there were some blood smears on the couch and thought about the prank that I pulled on my ex boyfriend some years back.
When I was 26, I was in a long distance relationship with a Dutch boyfriend and although I did stay with him in Amsterdam, we didn't get along during and even after the break up. He used to say that period sex was grotesque to him and that he didn't want to be around me when I was on the rag. (I need period sex and loved it when the person rub my belly -- as ways to alleviate my cramps). While i was menstruating in Amsterdam, I had this bright (or idiotic) idea to pull a prank on him by sitting on his couch and just bleed all over it (and turn the cushion over) and then hid my bloody underwear in the back of his closet. Sure, he threw a fit but it was totally worth it. I didn't understand men who seem to recoil in horror whenever they see a woman with blood coming from her vagina. That's not so abnormal.

Anyway: Ginger Snaps is about a girl having the curse and being what society call 'a bitch'. All Ginger wanted to do is have fun and let loose of her self-control and impulse. Sure, she bites too hard but she just wanna be understood and loved! I love it.


Nothing Gold Can Stay

September was a terrible month -- the constant stage of being in limbo between being obnoxiously in love/lust and within days, despair and contempt. Flinging like a Dido in the second stage of hell in Dante's Inferno - -along with my unopened packages of cock rings and purple anal plug (It's free to whoever want them). Being told I'm a muse and a manic dream pixie girl to build up my already inflated ego but only to be met with "It's not you. It's me". If only I was shallow enough to drown myself in "He's just not that into you" self-help books.
I could say that men are scums but then again, I'll be accused of misandry -- which is another thing entirely as it's just as beautiful as unicorn poop. It just doesn't exist. I don't hate men. I don't even hate the guy. I hate that he make excuses for his poor decisions and mistreatment of women with dumb quizzes like the Levenson Self-Report Psychopathy Scale and saying "See! It's saying that I'm a dick bag and you just have to accept it!" -- The fucking Psychopathy Scale is barely legitimate and just a tad superior to COSMO quiz. There doesn't seem to be a certain thing called accountability anymore and it's ridiculous for one to even contemplate that I would go through this bullshit again -- muse or a manic dream pixie girl -- whatever. It does nothing for me in the real world except that I build up some guy's fucking ego and when he has no use for me anymore, he goes back to his tedious existence.

But I digress. October should be a better month because I'm allowed to have a body count. I will have a week off from work in which I will do absolutely nothing but watch horror movies all day.

October 1

Castle of Blood

Not a Edgar Allan Poe's story but presented like one. Kind of like 'House on a Haunted Hill' but isn't. Barbara Steele played tormented soul well much like her character in 'Black Sunday' and 'The Pit and the Pendulum'. It's campy and yet isn't. There's some boobies and yet it's tasteful. Castle of Blood is borderline on being a fucking brilliant film or a really shitty one. I'm not sure which.

October 2nd

The Deep

Although 'Jaws' was a huge big fucking deal back in the '70's, the expectation was that Peter Benchley's latest novel 'The Deep' might also have been a bit of a kick-ass on screen. I wish I could say I enjoyed seeing the presence of Eli Wallach and Robert Shaw but frankly, I'd rather watch Eli play a role in "Murder She Wrote" than to see him again in 'The Deep'. The opening scene started with Jacqueline Bisset's wet t-shirt, had some weird stereotypical Haitian shit and ended with a bomb on a sunken boat and a piece of shitty gold in Nick Nolte's hands. That's all you need to know about it. Not a horror. Not a suspense. Not an action film. It's just ....whatever. It's a shame 'cause it could've been awesome.